37 weeks

 Holy Moly.  There are just no words.

Okay, maybe there are.  Maybe I am astonished by my body and this amazing ability it has to stretch and grow and make room for a tiny human to develop inside me.  Maybe I'll be a little sad when this pregnancy is over.  Maybe I love being pregnant.  Aside from the fact that my skin looks amazing when I'm pregnant (if I may say so myself), I just really do love being pregnant.  I love the unique, special time that it is.  I love feeling life within me.  I love the anticipation of a newborn baby.  I love feeling my heart expand along with my belly as I make room in my life for another heaven-sent babe.  Sure, I'm tired now that I'm at the end of this little journey, sure my feet and ankles are so swollen that there's no distinction whatsoever of where my calves end and my feet begin, but really I will miss this.  I'm thankful for the opportunity I've had to experience this part of motherhood.  I'm thankful for my sweet little cherubs.  I'm going to try and really enjoy these last few days of being with child.


And right this moment, I'm going to go put my feet up because they are starting to resemble water balloons.

36 Weeks

Oh my word, guys, look at this belly!  I see myself everyday in the mirror and I still can't get over how absolutely ginormus I am.  It's a little ridiculous.  Baby boy is still breech, and so I'll probably be scheduled for a c-section to take place in 3 weeks or so.  Judging by the size of my belly, my baby's probably going to weigh in at 24 lbs, so maybe a c-section will be a welcome inconvenience?  I'm still trying to get him to flip head down.  Lots of laying down with my head lower than my hips (which gives me a fantastic case of heartburn.  Every.  Time.).  Lots of crawling around on all fours, swaying my hips from side to side (Oscar always tries to get horse-back rides during those particular exercises).  Lots of shining flashlights at my lower abdomen and pressing my iPhone speakers into my lower belly while blasting music- everything from Mozart to The White Stripes.  Ice bags on the top of my belly, somersaults in the swimming pool- if it's been recommended for turning breech babies, I've tried it.  Lots of positive affirmations and talking to my baby.  All to no avail (so far... I still haven't given up hope).

I've called all sorts of doctors and midwives here in South Florida.  No one is really into doing an "external cephalic version", a procedure I had done with Cash who was also breech but was successfully turned and then stayed head down until he was born a day after his due date.  A few doctors down here will deliver breech babies, but this boy's head is HUGE (at 34 weeks his head measured 40+ weeks) and so from what I've been told delivering him breech is not an option.

But honestly, I've come to peace with the fact that this little guy might not turn.  He tries, he really does.  Most of the time he's in what's called a transverse lie where he is laying across my belly instead of up and down.  And a few times I've gotten him to flip 9/10ths of the way, but then he flips back.  And I can't help but wonder if maybe the cord is wrapped around his neck, or something else is preventing him from getting into the optimal birthing position.  Mostly, I just want this little guy to get here safely.  And if that means a c-section, then I'm on board.  But for now, I'm going to go lay upside-down with some frozen peas on my belly and play some music for this boy... maybe that song by The Byrds, "Turn, turn, turn".

Wish me luck!

Beach Babies

Guys, I'm tired.  I'm tired and I'm starting to get that end-of-pregnancy waddle.  Quack.  And yet... and yet I still have 7 weeks to go.  This belly is going to be growing a LOT more.  Also, baby boy is BREECH and so when he flips (you will flip, baby, right???) and he is head down, I suppose my waddle will become pretty hilarious to behold.  Self-prescribed bed rest might be in order.

The other day, though, I braved the beach on my own with the kids.  It was great.  Me on the sand beached-whale style while the kids played in the waves and looked for seashells on the shore.  Oscar preferred to be my little blanket buddy and snack on Oreos.  The sun was shining, the water was warm, and cookies were plentiful.  I might have to do another beach day soon.  Anyone care to join me?  I'll pack an extra bag of cookies...

Let the Countdown Begin...

Tomorrow I am officially 30 weeks along. 10 weeks to go. I know that is still 2 1/2 months, but it will go by fast, I'm sure of it. I can't wait to hold another one of these:

Baby Cash

Baby Oscar

I have to hurry and give this a title because Ben and the kids want to go swimming...

I think I'm suffering from instagram-itis. It's where I have absolutely no inclination to blog because I can just post these little "mini posts" on instagram. Snap a pic, add a cutesy caption and Bam! Done! I'm trying to get over my disease. Promise. Here's what's been happening in the Sunshine State (also, incidentally, known as the Winter Salad Bowl State... thank you Trivial Pursuit for that random little gem of knowledge).

Well, we found out what we are having... it's a...



HUMAN BABY! Are you all surprised? It's also a boy. Sometimes when Maggie is fed up with her little brothers' shenanigans she laments that fact that yet another pesky brother is about to join our family. Then she goes on and on that since she's daddy's only girl she should get whatever she wants (whenever she wants it). She's going to milk this. Dry.

On to other Maggie news, she finally lost her first tooth! We were all thrilled because for months now one of Maggie's favorite things to whine about was how she was NEVER going to lose a tooth. Every one else in her class had lost at least three! It's just wasn't fair! A great injustice was made right the day she yanked that tooth from her gums. The tooth fairy left her a whole dollar- major bragging rights in Maggie's opinion.





What else, what else. Oscar is officially out of diapers. Even at night. I think I'm more thrilled about it than he is!



Here's a picture of me at 21 or 22 weeks.



I'm around 25 weeks now, so I'm even bigger than I am in this picture. Baby boy moves around a lot which is a very good thing because I have been so nervous this time around. Every time I have a doctor's appointment I have these mini panic attacks until I hear that little heartbeat and am reassured that everything is okay. I'm trying really hard to not be paranoid during this pregnancy, and usually I'm fine. I know that the chances of losing another baby in utero are slim to none, but there are a lot of deep seated fears that come to the surface every now and again. I even have dreams where people tell me that my baby's not safe inside me and we need to get him out now. Crazy. But things are good- he's healthy and growing right on schedule. (this whole last paragraph seems really... "heavy" for my blog).

We are loving living here in Florida. It's beautiful here. Visit us. Soon.



p.s. I didn't mention Cash at all in this post. Don't worry- we still love Cash.

Whoooooooeeee!

That was a refreshing little unintentional blog break. My computer is still in a coma, so I use that as an excuse to not blog... but that's lame, right? I know. It is. But here I am to renew my efforts at blogging on a kind of sort of regular basis. Savvy? Here is what's going on in my life:


I still mother these:


My house still looks like this most days (except my toenail polish usually doesn't look that good):


I still live in a place where you can experience this:


I am growing this:

(Not my manic 5 year old son, although since I feed and water him perhaps I could say that I am "growing" him, too, but I was referring my protruding belly- 16 weeks pregnant...).

No easy way to say it...

The hard truth is, that yesterday at my 20 week ultrasound the doctor was unable to find our baby’s heartbeat. I had felt our baby boy moving and kicking the night before, but sometime between then and my appointment his little heart went still.

The hard truth is that in a few days I will have to go into the hospital and deliver my baby, but come home without him.

I know that there are women out there who have experienced multiple pregnancy losses. I know that every day parents lose children to things like illness, or accidents or other tragic events, and I’m sure that their trials are greater than mine. But the fact is that my heart is hurting. And my arms feel empty. And this is really hard.

Twenty Down

{Um, major note to self: I really need to have someone take some "good" pictures of me and my pregnant belly. And I should probably try to do something cute with my hair...also I should try and ditch the bathroom setting.}

Let It Be Known

Kathryn's Womb Service is officially up and running once again. Let's be honest- Ben can't get enough when it comes to... newborns. And so here we are, having number 4. Yay!

Ben and baby Oscar, just a few hours after he was born

Me and Maggie, a few days before Cash arrived!

Here I am documenting my pregnancy with Oscar... I'll look like this again soon!

Dear Self,

Please stop comparing yourself to your older sister whose pre-pregnancy clothes are too big one month after birthing her children, while you are still fitting quite nicely into your maternity jeans whilst your 3 month old lay in your arms nursing. Also, stop stressing about your upcoming 30th birthday and the cruise to the Bahamas (both occurring the end of May). Instead, remind yourself on how much you love your three little ones (all of whom greatly contributed to your current "pleasantly plump" condition) and paste a picture of Marilyn Monroe to the bathroom mirror (this will especially help your post-shower ego). Keep exercising, eating tons of vegetables, and drinking silly amounts of water. Embrace your curves, dearie.

love, moi

p.s. also, please can you find a bathing suit like marilyn's for the cruise? hhhhhot!

Letter from Management

Dear Baby,

Our records indicate that you are now past due. We here at Kathryn’s Womb Service have a very strict 40 week policy, and you are now in breach of contract. Please head towards the nearest exit as soon as possible.

Thank You,
The Management

Documentation

For those of you who don't see me on a regular basis (pretty much everyone but Ben and my kids) here is a self-portrait of me at 35 weeks:



After scrutinizing the picture on the digital screen, I attempt to take another photo in which I will not look quite so chubby, hence I take a stab at "sexy lips", but guess what?

Posterchild

As my belly has become noticeably large, it has gained a lot of attention to the "3 and under" crowd in our house. Especially Maggie. Lately she likes to be "pregdent" just like mom, and a week or so ago she even kept her baby (a stuffed horse on this particular day) in her belly while we went to the store because upon urging her to remove it, she informed me that it wasn't big enough to get out yet. Also please note the B.A.C.A. tattoo she is sporting from a trip to the local farmers' market. All she needs is a candy cigarette between those cherub lips and she'd be the (literal) poster child for anti-teen pregnancy.

NEWs

Our bun in the oven is of the male persuasion, my husband is the proud new owner of a Honda Shadow 750 (gulp!), and we bought a new 6 bedroom house on the East Bench in Salt Lake.







Okay, so one of these is a lie... I'll let you decide which it is.