Friday, May 13, 2011

No easy way to say it...

The hard truth is, that yesterday at my 20 week ultrasound the doctor was unable to find our baby’s heartbeat. I had felt our baby boy moving and kicking the night before, but sometime between then and my appointment his little heart went still.


The hard truth is that in a few days I will have to go into the hospital and deliver my baby, but come home without him.


I know that there are women out there who have experienced multiple pregnancy losses. I know that every day parents lose children to things like illness, or accidents or other tragic events, and I’m sure that their trials are greater than mine. But the fact is that my heart is hurting. And my arms feel empty. And this is really hard.

17 comments:

LindeeLulaBee said...

Kathryn. My phone got stolen on Sunday and I've been thinking about you for so long. And now this! I'm so so sorry. Don't down play your feelings about the seriousness of this experience. Yes many others have had this experience, but that doesn't make it any less painful for you or your family. Your going to go through a lot of grieving and I wish so bad I could be there to give you the biggest hug! Stay close to the lord. The Atonement is ALL encompassing. I have a book that you might find comfort in (about this very thing). Send me your address and I'll send it to you. I love you sooo much and my heart aches for you and your family. The woman that experience this are truly amazing to me and I look up to them. You are loved and don't let anyone tell you when you should be "ok" Your healing journey is just that, it's yours. XOXOXOX ~X-tina :)

Tami said...

Kathryn, I am so sorry and sad to hear this!! That is just not fair, especially so far along :( You and your family are in our prayers. xoxo

Rebekah V. said...

I am so sorry. It is so hard to lose someone you love. We will be praying for you that you will feel some kind of comfort during this very difficult experience.

BBC said...

oh kat. i'm so sad to hear this news. we will be praying for you. we love you.

Kim said...

No no no no no no no no no no noooooooooo! I hate this. I'm so, so sorry, Kat. I'm going to pray for a miracle.

Melissa said...

After talking to you yesterday, I was filled with so much sadness for you and your family. I can't even begin to comprehend what you are dealing with. And even though it doesn't make things easier, it is nice to know that your son is with his Grandpa Marty, and will be well taken care of until you see him again. I love you.

Schmath said...

Oh Kat, I'm so so sorry! This is so sad.

bex said...

<3

sarah said...

kat, i love you so much. i'm so sorry that you have to go through this. we are thinking of you and praying for you and the family. i'm here for you always. i love you sis!

Cyndi said...

My heart is aching for you and your family, Kat. I have been thinking of you non-stop since I heard this horrible news. I wish I had the words to get you through this. I don't. I still don't know how to do it everyday. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby boy and all the dreams and hopes you had for him and your family. I'm so sorry you have to go through the next few days and weeks and months and years with that ache in your heart. It will never be easy and your heart will hurt every step of the way. I am here if you ever need a listening experienced ear, though I know that everyone's pain is different. I've learned through this lonely journey of baby loss that having someone that understands can be so helpful. Please know you're not alone. Your family will be in all of my prayers and thoughts & we are sending tons of love and hugs headed your way. XOXO

Olivia McCord said...

I wish I could be your shoulder to cry on just like you were there for me when I found out the same sad news. Hang in there. You are one tough cookie.

Anonymous said...

Our hearts and prayers are with you Kat. I am very sorry.

-grant

Jocelyn said...

Kat, I've been thinking about you and praying for you and your family ever since I heard. I am so, so sorry for what you are going through right now. I wish there was something I could say or do to take away all your pain. We love you.

mama jo said...

I'm so sorry, I'm thinking of you..

Lorell said...

ugh...love love love to you. Want to squeeze and love you.

Breathing helps.

I'll be in New Orleans in July for 8 weeks. Will you still be there?

Hi, I'm a gypsy too.

Benielle said...

I am so sorry. I wish i could give you a hug. My heart is breaking for you.

Bringhursts said...

I am speechless; I am so sorry for you guys. We love you both.