Overheard

Maggie (talking to her brothers): There's this place called Hawaii, and if you arrive on that planet the people give you a flower necklace and say, "Hola!".

Conversations

Preface: On the menu for dinner tonight-- Pre-seasoned individually wrapped frozen salmon fillets that you simply unwrap, throw on a baking sheet and cook. As a side dish I opened up a can of green beans and heated it up in the microwave. A little salt and pepper on the beans, a squeeze of lemon juice on the fish. Done. Not my proudest meal, but...

Maggie: (After taking a few bites) Mmmmm, oh my gosh MOM! This is sooooo good!!!

Me: (Blank stare)

Maggie: I'm serious mom, you are the best cook ever!

Me: (Blank stare)

Maggie: Mom, I think you should write a cookbook. And you could even put your name on the front of it! And you could have your own cooking show! You could make food just like this and people would be saying, "Oh man! This lady can cook real good!"

Me: (Blank stare)

Maggie: Mom? Do you hear what I'm talking about?

Me: I'm flattered sweetie...Thanks for the complements! Now, can you finish your dinner?

Maggie: (Poking at her fish with her fork) Can you heat it up in the microwave? It's not very good when it's not heated up.

Conversations

Maggie came in & told me that Cash hit her... then she goes back in the bedroom with Cash.

Maggie: Cash, I just told on you.

Cash: Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna tell on you... [yelling] Mooooommm! Maggie just told on me!

Egads!

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I was making a chocolate cream pie for dessert and Cash was in the kitchen blowing on a plastic whistle over and over and over and over. I told Cash if he blew it one more time, he'd lose it... 0.03 seconds later he blew the whistle again & I grabbed it and put it on the counter. He got angry and kicked a kitchen chair & slammed the pantry door and so landed himself in a time out.

Cash: As soon as I'm done with my dessert, I'm packing my stuff and leaving.

Me: Oh, really?

Cash: Yes, but you have to help me pack.

Me: Oh, is that right?

Cash: Yes, and if no one helps me pack, then I'm just staying here...

Conversations

Maggie was playing school with her two younger brothers, teaching them all sorts of songs and how to match shapes...

Me: Maggie, did you know your daddy used to be a teacher?

Maggie: WHAT?!? He did?

Me: Yep, he taught high school students...

Maggie: So he was a teacher and a daddy?

Me: Uh-huh.

Maggie: Wait, so people can be mommies and daddies and other stuff, too?

Me: Yes.

Maggie: Oh man! I'm going to be a teacher AND a mommy when I grow up! This is so cool...

Conversations

Maggie: Dad, why is mommy in charge of everything?
Ben: She's not in charge of everything, me and mommy are both in charge...
Maggie: Uh-uh... every time I ask you if I can watch a movie you say, "it's up to mommy".



I also have to add a few more things, lest I forget them...

Cash spent at least 20 minutes this morning talking about "Milo-itis" until I finally figured out he was talking about the movie Milo & Otis...

Also, Maggie loves to sit at Ben's computer and 'network' and check her 'female'.

Conversations

Cash (wielding his play foam sword): Mom this is my awesome glass sword.
Me: Glass?
Cash: Yeah, mom. It's made of glass.
Me: Swords aren't made of glass, hun. They're made of metal.
Cash: Uh, mom? Jesus made my sword out of glass.

(How do you argue with that, right?)

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Me: Hey kids... today we're going to decorate the house for CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Kids: Woo-hoo!!! (lot's of screaming, dancing around, jumping, high-fiving).

Me: Cash, what are we doing today?

Cash: Um. I don't know. But I'm excited.

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p.s. We gave Frank up for adoption. And my life is back to a normal level of daily chaos. He is now living with some friends of my sister's in California. And I'm sure he's very happy. I think we'll move into this pet thing in baby steps. Step one: Ivy plant.

Conversations

Maggie: Mom, I can speak in Spanish... you know that?
Me: No, I didn't know you could speak Spanish.
Maggie: Yeah. I can. Like this: Snoches.
Me: Oh, and what does that mean?
Maggie: It means 'go to sleep'.
{You know, like buenos noches... snoches.}
Me: Yes! Very good!
Maggie: And I know another Spanish.
Me: Let's hear it.
Maggie: Gardonoggines!
Me: Okay...
Maggie: It means 'no I don't want to get on that train right now because I'm scared but maybe later if I have cookie I can get on the train.'
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{PREFACE: Maggie's Sunday School class is doing a service project where they are collecting items to sell in a garage sale. All of the proceeds from the garage sale will go to help children in the Dominican Republic. Her Sunday School teachers have been talking a lot about how Maggie's class can help out.}

Maggie: Mom, there's these kids that don't have moms or daddies or toothbrushes or toys. It's so sad, mom.
Me: Yes, and we should go up to your room and go through your toys and clothes and find things that you don't need so we can give them to those kids.
Maggie: Well actually mom, there aren't any girls down there so we don't need to give them any of my stuff.

Conversations

Ben: Cash, please eat your sandwich until it's gone.
Cash: It's pretending to be gone, dad.

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Cash: Mom, someday I'm gonna grow up to a dad.
Me: Oh? Will you still love me and call me "Mama"?
Cash: No because you will grow down to a little bug and I will stomp you.

Naughty Naughty

The other day while driving in the car an unsavory smell came wafting through the vents (think: sulfur). Maggie piped up in the back seat, "Ew, mom! It smells like someone's bum!" I quickly told her that she was not to speak like that, did she ever hear Cinderella or Belle talking like that? Didn't she want to be like a princess?

Cash's response: "Mom, princesses poop."


Heaven help me. Seriously.

Conversations

Maggie: Mom, what shall we have for dinner... chili, or mermaid?
Me: Mermaid? Do we eat mermaid?
Maggie: Yes, we do. It comes in a can.
Me: Oh, you mean Chicken of the Sea.
Maggie: No, it's not chicken. It's mermaid.
Me: Well, it's not chicken OR mermaid... it's tuna.
Maggie: Mmmm. Yes, tuna. Well, shall we have that?

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While I was typing up this post Maggie came running in to where I was sitting and said, "Mom, I broke an egg."
I went into the kitchen and was greeted by this:


{that's eleven broken eggs}

So now we are off to the store to buy more eggs and a can or two of "mermaid" (but before we go I need to change Cash's poopy diaper).

How is your day going?