Dear Virus,

As your host, I feel it is my responsibility to inform you that you have worn out your welcome. Perhaps I gave you the wrong impression when I mentioned that you weren't that big of a deal. I take it back. Your presence in this household has become irksome, to say the least. You are a nuisance and a bore and we are tired of you. Had you shown more generosity, maybe springing for dinner or cleaning the guest bath, your extended stay may not have been so exhausting. But, as it is, all you have caused is pain, discomfort, and a preposterous amount of mucus. Please demonstrate that you have a shred of decency by clearing out at once.

Sincerely,
Your Host Family

p.s.

photo credit: Heather Allred Bliss