This morning Ben woke up with a major migraine headache along with other various ailments and so opted to stay home in bed and leave me to fend for myself with two children during church. I packed my diaper bag full of time-absorbing toys and treats and headed warily off to church.
The first half of the meeting went off without a hitch, I kept my toddlers' hands busy and their mouths full, but soon the strain of sitting relatively still and keeping voice levels to a minimum became too much for them to handle. The second half of the meeting became a wrestling match as I grabbed at Cash, who was attempting to army crawl under the rows of pews, and tried to constrain Maggie, who was doing summersaults down the length of our bench (flashing her Tinkerbell underpants along the way).
As the minutes went (slowly) by, my children's attempts to cause a raucous disturbance became collaborative. They began having screaming contests, grabbed at each other's hair and battled over who got to sit on my lap. It was during one of these "lap battles" that Maggie, trying to hoist herself up, pulled on my sweater. My button-up-the-front sweater. And it was with horror that I looked down and realized she had pulled hard enough on said sweater to unbutton most of the buttons, and pull the sweater off my shoulder and down half my arm.
And that is how I unintentionally flashed 1/3 of the congregation today. And bared myself-- body and soul.